Thoughts: Learn to Celebrate the Wins

I have to confess that the last few years have been quite challenging, across pretty much all aspects of my life, but as I write this, I am reflecting on the fact that I am happy. I am content.

How did I get to this place?

It occurred to me that when things in life challenge me – be they personal challenges or work-related challenges, I actually have choice around how I react to them (do I panic and lurch from crisis to crisis?) or do I respond to them (take a breath, take a step back from the situation and consider all options). I have learned to recognise when I have absolutely no control over situations. As such I have learned to accept these situations and as a result of this acceptance I lose no energy or sleep because of them.

Don’t get me wrong. Tough situations are tough. They do have an impact. They do force change upon us. But for me, the key was developing resilience – that ability to bounce back quickly to the pre-crisis state.

One thing that has helped me develop this resilience was developing a plan. Understanding that there are controls/frameworks I have to live within (long boring story) and planning for my future, taking these frameworks into account and instead of feeling constrained by them, making them work for me. Harnessing them. Allowing them to chip off the rough edges and to help me develop focus. I am a much better version of myself today than I was two years ago.

I could have been wallowing in a ‘poor me’ mental state but I chose not to.

I think that we pay too much attention to the negative. The bad things that happen. The office politics that get us down. The increased workload. The day-to-day stresses. If we pay attention to the negative, we allow the negative to increase. We start looking for the negative. We feed the negative. And the negative compounds. I suspect this is part of the human condition.

To counter this I have learned to celebrate the wins.

I now look for the little positive things that happen and I revel in them. It may be a win at work. It may be seeing growth in a colleague. It may be finally getting the roommates cat to sit next to me on the couch (this one was hard to achieve!). It is important to reprogramme your mindset and change your focus.

Recognising and revelling in the little wins is one thing, but it is important to go a step further. I’ve created a list. It is a list of goals or milestones that I want to achieve or acknowledge over the next three years or so. It’s a ‘living document’ which I add to regularly. The list items are currently mostly financial goals around saving etc. but they’re also practical goals. They’re also milestones to look forward to: A new place to live. Home ownership. Significant birthdays of my kids. That sort of thing.

And the amazing thing is, since I wrote this list at the beginning of July, I’ve ticked off three things already. There is an acceleration occurring because they’re written down. My sub-conscious and my conscious mind are working in concert to achieve these things.

So, write things down people. And when you achieve them, celebrate them with something that is occassional. For me, it’s wine, a cigar and a firepit. What is it for you? What will you do?

Good luck!

^SD

Thoughts: That Time When You Accidentally Join A Pagan Celebration

Today was decidedly odd.

The morning schedule was a meeting with the Solicitor to get Mums affairs in order and progress correctly. To make sure they had all my details sorted. From there to the Memorial company to order a new Headstone for the plot.

Side note: We learned that if we wanted raised lead lettering on the stone it would cost 8 quid per letter…

We opted against raised lead lettering.

As we were close to Glastonbury we decided to head in for lunch. Completely forgetting that it was 1st May – May Day. Beltane. Glastonbury was at a complete standstill.

(Glastonbury is known for its Tor and has a history rooted in mythology and legends including Joseph of Arimathea and King Arthur. More here. The Glastonbury Festival takes its name from the town but is held a few miles away in Pilton).

The whole town gets involved in this celebration. There was the Town Hall address. The Town Crier welcoming Summer. The menfolk bearing the Maypole.

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I loved the folk dressing up as Goddesses and Green Men. Some better than others to be fair. The guy in the ghillie suit for example, didn’t quite get it. Or the guy who was green all over and wearing his favourite green shirt (it was a Green Lantern shirt so bonus points for that).

Flower crowns/garlands were on heads everywhere.

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We walked in a procession behind the Maypole for the best part of a mile. Destination: a field near the base of Glastonbury Tor. We paused by the Red Spring and the White Spring – a place of significance and meditation – for the Maypole to be blessed by intermingled waters from both. (ask me about the guy bathing naked in public sometime).

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The procession continued uphill and as we entered the field we were welcomed and blessed. The church of Beltane was truly in session. Chanting. Entering the ring through the garland portals.

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There were Gaelic blessings, invocations and chants. There were Druidic blessings, invocations and chants. People were drawn in to a state of worship. Singing. Drumming. Cannabis…

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The May Queen and May King were joined. The Maypole was planted. The couples were paired. The merriment began. Summer has been welcomed. Fertility has been encouraged.

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It was quite an experience. Not something this lad from Palmerston North has experienced anyway.

(Local coverage can be found here).

I do like days where the unexpected happens simply because you follow your curiosity and say Yes to new experiences.

But what is my take-away from all of this? It’s not just something that a tourist can observe and say “That was good wasn’t it”?. I think there’s more to it.

Beltane is about new life. It’s about conception. So, for me, I will conceive that new project, grasp that fleeting idea and get on with it.

Life is not about stagnation.

Not. One. Bit.

 

^sd