Thoughts: Friendships are Weird

So, here’s the thing. I’m a guy who makes friends easily. On the surface at least. But my reality is that my friendships are, for the most part, mostly really really great acquaintances.

People often come into my world and then they leave. Everyone has different journeys. We all play a part I guess.

I’ve always held the view that the Universe connects you with people for a reason. It’s not necessarily immediately apparent, but there is a reason. It could be years before the reason is revealed, because the Universe needs to lay the groundwork. Prepare the fertile soil. Plant the seed… (too much?)

Moving from acquaintances to close friends. The close friends I have are few, but intensely valued. The connection made is deep and timeless.

Which is why I found it unsettling recently when I learned that a friend, (one I consider being in the close, few, rare, precious, category of friends), told me that she’d been angry over something I’d said to someone else. From about 5 years ago.

And she hadn’t told me about it because “she’s not confrontational “. 5 years she’s held on to this. 5. Years.

This was, of course, quite upsetting to learn.

But it didn’t ring true.

So I went through years of recorded Facebook conversation (being the vehicle of said communication) and I realised that I had not done that which I had been accused of. Someone else did, and I have a really good idea of whom.

My problem now is, do I share and redeem myself, or just keep it quiet, thereby protecting the relationships that would be tested if the truth were outed?

I’m leaning towards the latter. I’m already the bad guy and I know I’m not so I sleep quite well at night. My friend has vented so she sleeps well at night.

Complexities indeed.

Friendships are weird.

^SD

Thoughts: The Staggered Start to 2019

Today is February 6th, Waitangi Day here in New Zealand. It’s kind of like Australia Day or Independence Day in the US – but not.

I sit here, not working. The weather is nice though, so that’s a plus.

The last couple of weeks have been irritating. I had a decent break over Christmas and New Year. Recharged the batteries a bit. Was able to have a bit of a hard reset. Turned it off and on again.

Then, oh wow, did I have to hit the ground running. My field of work requires a lot of resilience and an ability to empathise fully whilst deflecting. It can be challenging. Some of the things people share with me are quite confronting.

But then we have today off. Waitangi Day. In the middle of the week. We had a weekend. Then two days. Then a day off. Then we have two more days of work. Then another weekend.

And last week we had the Monday off for a regional day.

I have found these micro-breaks incredibly disruptive.

Sure they’re nice to have, but really. Are they necessary?

Remind me in the months between Queens’ Birthday and Labour Weekend how great micro-breaks are. That’s when they’d be appreciated.