Today marks three months since I started my new role post-EAP.
And it’s been a good three months on balance.
It’s always challenging starting in a new place.
There are questions to consider: “Which Simon do I present”? “When do I share my deep love of Toto and Level 42”? “Should I bring my hot sauce in to the office?
You know, the usual.
I think I’ve navigated it all ok. I’ve settled in, I know what I’m doing and I like to think I’m making a positive difference. My new colleagues are great.
It’s been interesting tracking changes as a result of my move. The most obvious aligns with health – my stress level has dropped tangibly. My blood pressure has dropped. My resting heart rate has dropped.
My GP is so pleased with me. (Yes, I do seek approval where I can!)
I also have the headspace to exercise (I’m still not a huge fan), to reconnect with people I’ve not really seen for some time. It’s been great.
On the 82
I’ve enjoyed my new public transport requirement.
This was one of my concerns about finishing up at my previous role – I had a work vehicle and car park in the city.
So, not having a car, not having to pay for parking, for fuel, insurance, maintenance … all the things … means I’m saving $.
Over the last ten or so years, I have created a routine at the beginning of the year, in which I pick a cuisine that I don’t know, and spend time getting passingly good at cooking it.
Most years I’ve been successful, some years simply not.
For example, I never quite got the hang of making tortillas – and watching Mexican kids and their grandmothers making them effortlessly on YouTube only made everything worse! And instilled a degree of performance anxiety.
I need to revisit tortillas. For sure.
But having another go at Mexican cuisine is not for me in 2024.
My year of Chinese cuisine was fun. I now have a deep love of Asian supermarkets. I love walking the aisles looking at jars and other packaging, trying to work out what is what. A favourite, for example, is fermented red tofu. (Amazing in a twice-cooked pork dish by the way).
So. What to do?
I’ve decided, in acknowledgement of a former favourite colleague (and one of my great losses in leaving my former workplace), to explore Pakistani cuisine. In her words, sooooo much tastier than Indian… we shall see. In the interests of geopolitical peace, I couldn’t possibly comment. Yet.
I have a cookbook to get started with. I’ll be sure to Instagram everything of course. You know if it’s not ‘grammed it didn’t happen. There are rules.
And to mix it up, I’m also saving up for an ice cream maker. I’m intrigued by the idea of making unusual flavoured ice cream or gelato. And to recreate Goodie Gumdrops. This ties in with my need to get good at creating desserts, something I’ve deliberately stayed away from for the last decade. It’s now time. I’m looking at this: https://www.thehomestoreauckland.co.nz/products/cuisinart-ice-cream-gelato-maker-1-5l-built-in-compressor – (I should add that this local store is awesome).
In 2024 I’ll also need to pick up my levels of exercise. For obvious reasons. Desserts? Getting into baking? Eating all the things? Ruh-roh.
What annual challenges do you set for yourself? I’d love to hear your stories!
I didn’t write a post about what I wanted to achieve in 2023. On reflection, I’m quite sure it would not have been anything like what 2023 turned out to be.
We had the cyclone and floods. My work, supporting businesses and their staff impacted, was draining. We had the shootings in Queen St, Auckland where I had to help many companies navigate the impact on their teams. Draining.
Stagnation.
In April it became clear to me that I was utterly stagnant. My employer provided no opportunity for growth and development. No opportunity for training – upskilling myself to be better. Oh, in 2021 opportunities for growth were available but 2022/2023 saw these disappear. It also became clear that I no longer had a manager that gave a damn about me and my success in the business, and it became clear that my place of employment had fundamentally changed. It was no longer a safe place.
The work of my colleagues and I wasn’t acknowledged or validated. Pay rise? Sure, but half inflation. And less than the average percentage increase the company was proud of and promoting internally. Sends a message of value, right?
A key part of leadership is knowing when it’s time to go. And by the end of the year, I really needed to go. Staying any longer would negatively impact my legacy and would have turned me into that toxic guy. Which really isn’t me.
What’s interesting to me is that when I was most pissed off with everything work-related, the universe sent a recruiter into my LinkedIn messages. And here I am today, in a new role.
My 2024 reading. Last year, buried in the malaise of where I was, 2024 looked bleak.
A role change? 2024 is roses. I have positive challenges. Potential for growth.
My takeaway is that one doesn’t need to accept what is current. Create your options. Then execute.
This week is my last week working for an EAP provider here in New Zealand. 5 1/2 years of supporting organisations across New Zealand navigate crises and supporting the wellbeing of their teams.
It’s been tough. Exhausting. And sometimes unappreciated.
Helping organisations with their Covid response. Helping organisations with their flooding and cyclone response. Helping organisations navigate the suicide of team members. Helping organisations navigate active shooting scenarios. Setting up a support programme for another organisation on a National scale (that I can’t write about!). Helping the Ministry of Education support over 100,000 educators through and post- Covid. On reflection, I’ve done a lot.
People have asked me what I do, and the best I’ve been able to come up with is “if you read something bad in the news, there’s a 70% chance that I’m behind the scenes helping the the organisation get through it’.
It has been rewarding.
I’m an overly empathetic person, and I do tend to throw myself into this work too much, to my harm. It’s meant that for 5 1/2 years I’ve really been empty when it comes to emotional energy for others outside of work. I do feel a bit bad about that. But I have a huge appreciation for sleep. Quality bed. Blackout curtains. Tea Total sleepy dream time tea. The usual.
And Friday is my end of this chapter.
I feel… complete. I’ve achieved all I can achieve. There’s no more growth for me in this role, and I’m comfortable with this.
To my colleagues, I love you all so much. I literally could not have been as effective as I have been without you there. But you can’t stay in a job because of colleagues.
To my customers, I am so much a part of your teams. The heart you have for your people that is not noticed by most. But you can’t stay in a job because of your customers.
To my managers. That is an entirely different conversation.
People leave managers. Not roles. It has always been and it is now.
An important part of leadership is knowing when you need to leave. And it’s time. I’m comfortable with this and I’m looking forward to being impactful in a new role.
My birthday falls, as it does every year, in June.
This year, rather than take myself out of Auckland to spend time in Raglan or Taupo, it was decided to stay in town, and return some money to the local hospitality industry. Not paying for accomodation allows for indulging in more restaurants than usual.
I figured it would be interesting to make a note of the experiences had.
As I’m slightly OCD, I’ve created a list of Auckland restaurants to visit – it’s an amalgam of a couple of Metro Top 50 lists, plus others I’ve added. I also have a list of Auckland Iconic Eats and dishes I’m working through. And I am compelled to tick off all the things! (I recommend Evernote as the means to record such things).
First up, Amano. I’ve eaten here before, but in a bit of a rush before a concert. So this visit was a chance to relax into the vibe. And that’s what Amano has. It’s a fabulous venue, the interior design is fabulous. The staff are fabulous.. The ambience of a full restaurant humming with happy diners is palpable. And the food was great. I walked home happy.
Onslow was next. I’ve been wanting to eat at this Josh Emmett restaurant for ages. It was my choice for my actual birthday day. I wanted it to be amazing. We arrived with much anticipation. First impression, nice setup. The staff were outstanding (and got a tip because of their outstanding-ness). It was busy when we arrived. A number of boisterous work groups clearly celebrating successes of the day (Side note: it’s so great to see people winning and then celebrating the wins). This unfortunately is kinda when the wheels started to fall off for me. We were seated in a corner of the restaurant where it felt like all the ambient noise, conversations, and music was directed to. The tiled floors and tiles walls ensured that sound levels were bad. I spent the most frustrating 90 minutes of my life trying to converse and utterly failing. The food was ok, but with the exception of the salmon trolley and the team member presenting it, there’s nothing I can really recall from the meal. No standouts. Sadly, I can’t recommend Onslow and won’t be returning. I hope Josh’s new restaurant is better.
A few days later and for something a little different, we went to the Trip Advisor-rated Sri Pinang on K’Rd. This is an old-school, utterly authentic, Malaysian restaurant. It’s not pretentious. It just delivers fabulous food. Coming off my Onslow experience, the meal at Sri Pinang was just perfect. Simple and appropriate ambience, conversation-capable seating and wonderful flavours that lingered for days. I definitely recommend this place.
Kingi rounded off the birthday restaurants. I’d heard mixed reviews of this Hotel Britomart-located destination. First impressions, I loved the fitout. The decor is really interesting and appealing. Again, the staff were welcoming and very interested. Kingi is a seafood restaurant and I loved everything about it and the food I tried. I will definitely be returning.
I’d also like to add Kol to this blog. This was visited after the birthday explorations, and it deserves a special mention. It’s Sid and Chand Sahrawat’s latest venture and it doesn’t disappoint. Balanced dishes, interesting flavours and fantastic presentation. The restaurant itself is tasteful and the staff are great. Interested and enthusiastic about their diners and their food. Loved it. Would love to return and try the rest of the menu.
I’ve deliberately not mentioned the dishes I tasted. I’ll leave those for you to discover and to experience.
And someone mentioned Restaurant Month is coming up… good times! Shall we, Anna?
If you know me, you’ll probably know that I like to take my kids (well, they’re now 20 and 17) camping for a week, every year, in January. It’s something that I started doing 12 years ago, and have really focussed on.
I like to take them to parts of New Zealand that they’ve not seen, nor are likely to explore.
This of course leads to much discussion about what they can handle, how much time they’re happy to spend in the car on the journey, what they’d like to do or what they’d look forward to doing in the chosen destination.
This year, we went to New Plymouth. The reason for this is that a significant part of my origin story is rooted in New Plymouth. My adopted parents were born and raised there. Their parents were established there, and I remember spending many many weeks, many holidays, in New Plymouth as my parents took us to their hometown from our home in Palmerston North.
We stayed at the Top 10 campsite in Fitzroy. It’s fairly basic, but was perfect for our needs. I quite liked the hedging around the sites – it created a sense of privacy.
In New Plymouth we checked out a few things that you have to. Sadly the Lights Festival had ended the day before our arrival so it wasn’t worth navigating Pukekura Park whilst electrical works were being removed. We circumnavigated Mt Taranaki. We took a detour to Parihaka (important learning opportunity). We met some of my colleagues ( yes, I can’t not work on holiday – and the opportunity to connect with people IRL can’t be missed). We explored the homes my parents grew up in. We explored the homes my grandparents lived in. I recounted stories – oral history. We visited my biological aunt as well, so kind of a dual journey!
On the drives and in the campsite, we explore music. I love how my kids have their favourites. We started exploring the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time. It is interesting to me that they’re looking for craft rather than popularity. Snarky Puppy and Animals for Leaders rather than bland top 10.
One of my absolutely favourite things to do is to drive random roads, take random turns, explore small rural New Zealand. Buy a toasted sandwich. Have a chat. I love getting to know the pulse of the people I come into contact with. I find really interesting things.
Cafe toilet in ōkato
Back in New Plymouth, we explored the Len Lye gallery – its always amazing. I suspect it may have been a bit outside the headspace of my two though.. Still, I enjoyed it!
My kids? I think they had a good time. I’m always optimistic that they’re interested in the next camping trip. Will there be a next time? I hope so.
They’re not particularly interested in being photographed. Here’s them and me…
So, camping this January is done. I’m ready to approach work properly – I’m centered. Time with my kids is way more important than anything else I do.
This year, the Mental Health Foundations ‘Mental Health Awareness Week’ theme was all about Reconnection. Reconnect with the people and places that lift you up.
I work in a business that provides mental health support, so MHAW really is peak week in a year. Being directly involved, I now have had time to breathe and reflect on this theme.
Reconnection huh? This is something I can talk about…
I have learned that I am an ambivert. Where I lean towards extroversion generally, I also have strong introversion tendancies.
Since 2020 – yes, those Covid years – my introverted side has been in charge. I have had to adapt, to learn to draw refilling energy from sources other than people. I have done this with some success, but there has been a price paid. It has been taking me a long time to be able to get ‘out’, to interact with people the way I used to be able to, comfortably.
And honestly I’m still not there. Close, yes. But not quite.
On the plus side, I did successfully navigate Costco on opening weekend, and I did manage to navigate the Diwali crowds in Auckland last weekend, so I am definitely making progress.
Sorry, I got distracted thinking about 1.2kg of peanut M&M’s.
OK, back to Reconnection.
Yes, this was absolutely the right focus for MHAW. Our people have had to find their way back from enforced separation. Some are doing this easier than others so it is really important to stay mindful that the person you’re talking with may not have the energy to be fully engaged. Everyone has been impacted, and it shows in different ways.
One thing that has occurred to me as I reconnect with people, is that understanding and recognising the need for disconnection is also vitally important.
We all have people in our lives that live ‘rent-free’ in our heads. ‘Friends’ that really do not care about you as much as you care about them. I’ve observed that I no longer have the reserves to allow these energy-vampires a place in my life. In the current climate of rebuilding and recovery, I need to disconnect them. Sure, I may reconnect with them in the future, but for now the disconnection is required.
And for me, this is actually hard to do.
But the long-term life benefits will outweigh the loss.
It’s been a wee while between posts eh? This Covid thing is a tad tedious and really has gotten in the way of things. But this week I’ve been able to get onto an aircraft and do my job. In-person.
A flight to Christchurch. So many emotions. I’d not been there for about 3 years.
I noticed that I had a heightened sense of anxiety on the Airbus. Too many kids on board for comfort, knowing that they’re basically the superspreaders. Certainly in the case of my colleagues who’ve fallen!
I have observations. Firstly, I sense that Cantabrians are more positive. There’s a sense they’ve turned the corner. There’s been so much growth in the rebuild, but there’s another decade of rebuild ahead. No, matter. I can see how awesome this city is going to be.
I noticed that the roads are done. Smooth riding. The undulations are gone.
I love the laneways that have been developed.
The 30km limit in the city is irritating, especially as I was reminded by my car constantly to pay attention to the regulations.
I was able to take time to reflect at the CTV memorial. I have to do this. And will continue to do so.
Observations: taxi fares from airport to CBD are extortionate. Car parking is cheap (if you can find one).
I love that everything is pretty much 15 minutes away.
The food and coffee culture is booming. So many options. Do check out the Riverside Market. It’s fabulous.
I can’t wait to return. And I am so grateful that my work will need me to be in Christchurch regularly!
I’ve had an interesting few days of reflection. Considering how I’m doing in life. That sort of stuff.
My previous ‘Happy New Year’ posts have basically been a bit angsty. Generally they have been an “it’s been a challenging year” vibe and a written process trying to find some good for the year completed and some sort of focus for the new year to come.
“It’s been a challenging year”. Such a cliché.
I did for a moment consider the idea that it would be nice to have a year that wasn’t challenging. But dear god, how tedious would that be?
We need challenge.
I think, for me anyway, where 2020 was a shit show, 2021 has been challenging, but in a transitional way – moving from ‘survival challenge’ to ‘growth challenge’.
It’s been a very good year for me on balance.
Started at a shockingly low point at work, finished on a high. A platform is in place and I’m really looking forward to doing some good stuff this new year.
I’ve been careful managing human connections – minimising my exposure to those ‘energy vampires’ in my wider circle, focusing on those that know me and grow me. Being open to new people has brought interesting and positive influences into my world. I definitely have needed to avoid stagnation and just ‘existing’.
I’m ending 2021 in much better mental shape than 12 months ago. Clearly I’ve developed some resilience, combined with allowing new people in to help. Also, it helps to work where I work. My colleagues are amazing.
One thing I’m able to do this break time is to actually have a decent break. 9 days down so far and I’m just starting to relax to a point where I can begin to recharge.
So, a couple more weeks of holiday will be rejuvenating. I’m also getting to spend a week camping with my teenagers in January. Precious time. I don’t know how many more camping trips I’ll have with them but I’ll take every opportunity to spend quality time with them.
Resolutions… hmmm – I’m not making resolutions this year. Sure, there are ‘nice to haves’ to have in the back of my mind, but I’m not going to resolve to achieve these. Apart from the KitchenAid mixer. I need to resolve to obtain a KitchenAid mixer. Onyx Black. That will make 2022 a success!
Anyway, it’s been a year hasn’t it? I wish you all the very best for 2022. Those who have lost much, I hope you get your mojo back. That you recover quickly and grow quickly.
I hope you’re all holding up ok. It’s day 79 in this lockdown with not a lot on the horizon… except perhaps access to Bunnings next week.
Putting that aside, one of the absolute best things one can do to shift perspective, to stop complaining, to focus on better thoughts, is to listen to your favourite music. A song? An artist? A genre? It can be anything.
I’ve given myself a little positive project.
I’m building a playlist of Covers. You know, songs performed by artists that have a different take on the original performance. We all know ‘Nothing Compares 2U’ by Prince, and performed amazingly by Sinead OkConnor? But have you heard Chris Cornell’s version?
Sometimes artists cover their own songs in a completely different genre. Steven Tyler singing Janie’s Got A Gun on his Country album is fabulous!
This is what I’m talking about.
I’m wanting your recommendations. What cover versions of songs blow your mind each time you hear them?
Here’s a couple more that I love to start you off.
The Pot – Brass Against. (I just love the quirk and the talent on display here!)
man that chats 