For those that aren’t in New Zealand, we shut down from (including) Good Friday through to Easter Monday. It’s traditionally the last significant long holiday weekend and marks the entry in to Autumn and Winter.
Easter is the last opportunity to travel, camp, relax and reflect with friends and family. And this year, that opportunity was lost.
Easter Sunday was the hardest day for me so far, psychologically speaking.
I woke at the usual time. Made my bed. Went for a decent walk around Auckland city. Saw the people out and about, exercising, spending time with loved ones.
And I remembered that I was alone. Doing this lockdown, alone.
I’ve been so good in my isolation up until Sunday. My resilience has been evident and I’m drawing strength from the sources that are available to me. Until Sunday.
None of my usual go-to’s were working. The books I’m reading didn’t interest me. The Netflix documentaries that usually educate and inspire, bored me halfway through. The movies I love made me yawn.
This wasn’t a good sign.
I wasn’t even in the mood to chat, to message, to communicate.
Bedtime couldn’t come soon enough.
And today, Monday, I’m back to normal. Woke up. Made the bed. Cleaned. Did laundry. Played some PlayStation. Watched some Netflix.
It is like yesterday never happened.
On reflection, I have missed connection and intimacy this weekend, but I’ve come through the other side quickly. I have shifted my focus.
There will be an end to this lockdown. Covid-19 will be either contained or will become a part of global life. Things will return to a semblance of normality. There is HOPE.
And hope is what gets me through. Those of you who are close to me know that I’ve had three years of challenges, and that season of challenge ends in May. So my hope-focus is all about what next. Where will I be travelling to (and yes, I will be travelling)? How is my next life stage going to be framed? I’m desperate to explore cultures I’m not familiar with. Desperate to explore their food and learn their histories. (And yes, I’m watching ALL the Netflix food shows).
Where there is hope, there is also anticipation. There are the little things, as well as the big things that I am looking forward to.
I’m looking forward to being able to invest in a Weber kettle BBQ. I want to learn/understand low/slow cooking with charcoal.
I am looking forward to being comfortable having guests over for a meal. Well, I just need to buy three more dining chairs, but I have a plan in place for that.
Actually I have a plan in place for many and most things. Which is why I’m just waiting.
I have learned over the last three years to utterly let go of the things that I can’t control and pour focus and planning in to the things I can control. To line things up so when the time is right, I can press go.
Sunday? It’s in the past.
Sunday was a gentle reminder that I need to ensure I pay enough attention to my own care and well-being.
Make sure you do the same.
Love to you all.