Category Archives: Life

12.27.24
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Thoughts: 2024 Was a Surreal Year

After a few years trying, I got a decent photo with Santa!

It’s the post-Xmas come down and I’m totally here for it. I’m taking time for myself and focusing on resting and recharging.

2024 has been a surreal year. Surreal really is the best word for it.

I didn’t really know what to expect when it started, except for one solid idea: 2024’s theme was going to be a Springtime for me. This idea was birthed in reflection of what had been a particularly challenging 6 or 7 years – a period of time in which I learned just how resilient I am, just how much support and friendship I have.

I am immensely grateful for those people in my life who understand my weird, and enable it!

January 2024 saw me cut my traditional Christmas vacation short to focus returning to my employment of 5 1/2 years and do a handover of the work I’d been doing. Monday to Friday of that first work-week of the year being diligent. Was it appreciated? No… not really. I found out after the fact that my notes weren’t distributed or communicated to anybody for more than several weeks. Really this just drew a solid line under that role. I made the correct decision to go.

(This could be a lesson for all – there is no job so important that you need to tolerate poor leadership, especially if it harms you or your colleagues)

I started a new role – still focusing on the health of workers, but removing the mental health aspect of the work. Being removed from the vicarious trauma I had been exposed to over the previous years, proved healing. We had a small but perfectly-formed team, and we were growing a business. In mid-year, there was a significant redeployment and half my team were gone. I don’t think this change was particularly managed well or communicated well, but it was what it was. I determined to focus on what I could control and not worry about the aspects that were outside of my control. After all, I had something to look forward to… my long-overdue return to the UK to reconnect with family after 6 1/2 years. This became my ‘reason’ and certainly helped navigate a frustrating time.

The trip was just what I needed. I wanted to learn if I still enjoyed travel (yes, yes I do), to learn if I am tolerant of fellow travelers despite all their BS (yes, yes I am). I’m impressed with how far technology has come in the last years – eSIMs (I recommend Airolo – https://ref.airalo.com/76GR – use my code SIMON2978 when you sign up), and the Wise Card for international funds and localised PayWave/Payments (https://wise.com/invite/dic/simonjohnd18).

Westminster
Bonfire in the village for all the locals
Bath
Wells Cathedral
Wells Cathedral

Serendipitously, a month or so before my trip, I was asked to apply for a new role. I was successful and started on my return from England. (That was a weird week – landed back in Auckland on the Saturday morning, started at the job Monday morning, had three teeth extracted on Wednesday morning!)

Finishing up 2024, it’s been a rollercoaster 6 weeks. I’ve definitely hit the ground running with my new team (they’re all amazing people) and I’m really looking forward to seeing what we can achieve in 2025.

My theme for 2025? It’s Growth – Make a Difference.

Now to spend some time considering what this looks like, and developing a plan for execution! Sigh – business guy speak. I’m supposed to be on holiday!

Other things of interest from this year? My adult children have done well at University and are happy and healthy. My daughter has become a significantly better bassist than me – something to do with effort and a lot of practice. I wasn’t really that disciplined. My son got a few A+’s in his degree so has a good idea of what he’ll be wanting to be doing. Between now and finding his first role, he’ll be continuing down the Warhammer rabbithole. I’m not mad about this! It creates gifting opportunities.

I know that next year will see me travel more. Vietnam/Thailand/Cambodia are on my list. A return to China? Singapore? Hong Kong? Back to the UK again? So many options… Now to dream and plan.

I hope you all have a relaxing Christmas and New Year, and I hope that 2025 brings you all you wish for.

^SJD

06.16.24
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Thoughts: A hatred of exercise vs a compulsion to complete a goal

This post has been seven years in the writing.

Back in 2016, post-Xmas, I decided I was fat and unfit and had the inclination to do something about it.

Some quick research led me to what was then named ‘Couch to 5K’. It’s an app designed to gradually take someone who’s sedentary and hasn’t run in their life, to being able to run a 5km distance. (It’s now called ‘5K Runner‘ by the way).

Today, June 16th 2024, I completed the challenge. Yes, I want to die, but I’ve ticked this one off.

Looking back, it’s been quite the journey.

Starting on December 27, 2016 – I embarked on a 25 minute walk/run. Basically 6 one-minute ‘runs’ with 90 second recovery periods. So not terrifying – but on reflecting it wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I managed to persevere until the 9th of Feb 2017 – at which point I twinged something. Made a restart of the programme on May 6th and continued through to June 25th – at which point I twinged something. Restarted August 17th – twinged something. Restarted 18th October then twinged something 26th October. Restarted 22nd November… you get the idea.

I was very stop/start. And rapidly lost interest. I’d managed to achieve the ‘1/2 way to 5k’ badge – but it felt hollow.

Covid arrived and given the time spent at home walking a lot, I decided to have another go. January 2022 – THIS was going to be my year. It wasn’t. I managed to go for four runs, then pulled something in my calf.

At that time I worked out that my old running shoes were actually trying to kill me. And my old running shorts were chafing my inner thighs to unfriendly levels.

So, I made use of the time off to spend some money and purchase running gear that was appropriate.

August 2022 – had another go. Then stopped.

January 2023 – had another go. Stopped in February 2023.

October 2023 – had another go. Once.

You get the idea. I really was fighting an internal battle with this goal.

In January 2024, I determined that THIS was my year. I replaced cabled headphones with AirPods. I found a fanny-pack that could house my phone and not bounce around uncomfortably. I bought an Apple Watch and became obsessed with tracking my health data.

So – shoes, shorts, shirts, phone, sounds, monitoring… everything was in place. But really what has made the difference, on reflection, is that I changed jobs in January. All of a sudden I had the psychological headspace to actually focus on me. No longer was I having to carry ‘other people’s trauma’. In 2024 I have been able to develop a routine. 2-3 runs per week. Repeating a days run if necessary. Running within my capability – not pushing hard. Training my legs to be able to keep moving. Training my lungs to keep breathing.

Yes, there were times of insecurity. I was in danger of being overtaken by people in wheelchairs at times. I’m pretty sure I don’t look comfortable. But I have been able to put those thoughts aside.

I started to notice other runners – how they move. Did you know there’s a runners code? A raised eyebrow of knowing. And a slight air of superiority as you run past non-runners. I’m in the club now!

It astonishes me that today I ran 35 minutes without a break. It’s a long way from 60 seconds and struggling.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think exercise is stupid. But my need to complete something that I began so long ago compelled me. Am I better for it? Absolutely! Will I continue? Absolutely.

So, thank you Fitness22, great software. I’m glad we met.

^SJD

04.15.24
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Thoughts – A 3 Month Review

Made it!

Today marks three months since I started my new role post-EAP.

And it’s been a good three months on balance.

It’s always challenging starting in a new place.

There are questions to consider:
“Which Simon do I present”?
“When do I share my deep love of Toto and Level 42”?
“Should I bring my hot sauce in to the office?

You know, the usual.

I think I’ve navigated it all ok. I’ve settled in, I know what I’m doing and I like to think I’m making a positive difference. My new colleagues are great.

It’s been interesting tracking changes as a result of my move. The most obvious aligns with health – my stress level has dropped tangibly. My blood pressure has dropped. My resting heart rate has dropped.

My GP is so pleased with me. (Yes, I do seek approval where I can!)

I also have the headspace to exercise (I’m still not a huge fan), to reconnect with people I’ve not really seen for some time. It’s been great.

On the 82

I’ve enjoyed my new public transport requirement.

This was one of my concerns about finishing up at my previous role – I had a work vehicle and car park in the city.

So, not having a car, not having to pay for parking, for fuel, insurance, maintenance … all the things … means I’m saving $.

Auckland Transport is my friend – it does seem to work for me.

Uber is my friend.

And Mevo is my friend. Actually, do check out Mevo. They’ve created something super-cool.

So, onwards and upwards. Here’s to the next three months.

^SJD^

01.31.24
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Thoughts: 2024 Culinary Challenge

Over the last ten or so years, I have created a routine at the beginning of the year, in which I pick a cuisine that I don’t know, and spend time getting passingly good at cooking it.

Most years I’ve been successful, some years simply not.

For example, I never quite got the hang of making tortillas – and watching Mexican kids and their grandmothers making them effortlessly on YouTube only made everything worse! And instilled a degree of performance anxiety.

I need to revisit tortillas. For sure.

But having another go at Mexican cuisine is not for me in 2024.

My year of Chinese cuisine was fun. I now have a deep love of Asian supermarkets. I love walking the aisles looking at jars and other packaging, trying to work out what is what. A favourite, for example, is fermented red tofu. (Amazing in a twice-cooked pork dish by the way).

So. What to do?

I’ve decided, in acknowledgement of a former favourite colleague (and one of my great losses in leaving my former workplace), to explore Pakistani cuisine. In her words, sooooo much tastier than Indian… we shall see. In the interests of geopolitical peace, I couldn’t possibly comment. Yet.

I have a cookbook to get started with. I’ll be sure to Instagram everything of course. You know if it’s not ‘grammed it didn’t happen. There are rules.

And to mix it up, I’m also saving up for an ice cream maker. I’m intrigued by the idea of making unusual flavoured ice cream or gelato. And to recreate Goodie Gumdrops. This ties in with my need to get good at creating desserts, something I’ve deliberately stayed away from for the last decade. It’s now time. I’m looking at this: https://www.thehomestoreauckland.co.nz/products/cuisinart-ice-cream-gelato-maker-1-5l-built-in-compressor – (I should add that this local store is awesome).

In 2024 I’ll also need to pick up my levels of exercise. For obvious reasons. Desserts? Getting into baking? Eating all the things? Ruh-roh.

What annual challenges do you set for yourself? I’d love to hear your stories!

^SJD

01.22.24
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Thoughts: A 2023 Review and a 2024 Reading

I didn’t write a post about what I wanted to achieve in 2023. On reflection, I’m quite sure it would not have been anything like what 2023 turned out to be.

We had the cyclone and floods. My work, supporting businesses and their staff impacted, was draining. We had the shootings in Queen St, Auckland where I had to help many companies navigate the impact on their teams. Draining.

Stagnation.

In April it became clear to me that I was utterly stagnant. My employer provided no opportunity for growth and development. No opportunity for training – upskilling myself to be better. Oh, in 2021 opportunities for growth were available but 2022/2023 saw these disappear. It also became clear that I no longer had a manager that gave a damn about me and my success in the business, and it became clear that my place of employment had fundamentally changed. It was no longer a safe place.

The work of my colleagues and I wasn’t acknowledged or validated. Pay rise? Sure, but half inflation. And less than the average percentage increase the company was proud of and promoting internally. Sends a message of value, right?

A key part of leadership is knowing when it’s time to go. And by the end of the year, I really needed to go. Staying any longer would negatively impact my legacy and would have turned me into that toxic guy. Which really isn’t me.

What’s interesting to me is that when I was most pissed off with everything work-related, the universe sent a recruiter into my LinkedIn messages. And here I am today, in a new role.

My 2024 reading. Last year, buried in the malaise of where I was, 2024 looked bleak.

A role change? 2024 is roses. I have positive challenges. Potential for growth.

My takeaway is that one doesn’t need to accept what is current. Create your options. Then execute.

I hope your 2024 is everything you want it to be.

^SJD

01.09.24
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Thoughts: Ch-ch-changes

Phew.

This week is my last week working for an EAP provider here in New Zealand. 5 1/2 years of supporting organisations across New Zealand navigate crises and supporting the wellbeing of their teams.

It’s been tough. Exhausting. And sometimes unappreciated.

Helping organisations with their Covid response. Helping organisations with their flooding and cyclone response. Helping organisations navigate the suicide of team members. Helping organisations navigate active shooting scenarios. Setting up a support programme for another organisation on a National scale (that I can’t write about!). Helping the Ministry of Education support over 100,000 educators through and post- Covid. On reflection, I’ve done a lot.

People have asked me what I do, and the best I’ve been able to come up with is “if you read something bad in the news, there’s a 70% chance that I’m behind the scenes helping the the organisation get through it’.

It has been rewarding.

I’m an overly empathetic person, and I do tend to throw myself into this work too much, to my harm. It’s meant that for 5 1/2 years I’ve really been empty when it comes to emotional energy for others outside of work. I do feel a bit bad about that. But I have a huge appreciation for sleep. Quality bed. Blackout curtains. Tea Total sleepy dream time tea. The usual.

And Friday is my end of this chapter.

I feel… complete. I’ve achieved all I can achieve. There’s no more growth for me in this role, and I’m comfortable with this.

To my colleagues, I love you all so much. I literally could not have been as effective as I have been without you there. But you can’t stay in a job because of colleagues.

To my customers, I am so much a part of your teams. The heart you have for your people that is not noticed by most. But you can’t stay in a job because of your customers.

To my managers. That is an entirely different conversation.

People leave managers. Not roles. It has always been and it is now.

An important part of leadership is knowing when you need to leave. And it’s time. I’m comfortable with this and I’m looking forward to being impactful in a new role.

2024 eh? Springtime. New beginnings.

07.16.23
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Thoughts: Birthday Culinary Experiences

It’s been a wee while between posts…

My birthday falls, as it does every year, in June.

This year, rather than take myself out of Auckland to spend time in Raglan or Taupo, it was decided to stay in town, and return some money to the local hospitality industry. Not paying for accomodation allows for indulging in more restaurants than usual.

I figured it would be interesting to make a note of the experiences had.

As I’m slightly OCD, I’ve created a list of Auckland restaurants to visit – it’s an amalgam of a couple of Metro Top 50 lists, plus others I’ve added. I also have a list of Auckland Iconic Eats and dishes I’m working through. And I am compelled to tick off all the things! (I recommend Evernote as the means to record such things).

First up, Amano.
I’ve eaten here before, but in a bit of a rush before a concert. So this visit was a chance to relax into the vibe. And that’s what Amano has. It’s a fabulous venue, the interior design is fabulous. The staff are fabulous.. The ambience of a full restaurant humming with happy diners is palpable. And the food was great. I walked home happy.

Onslow was next. I’ve been wanting to eat at this Josh Emmett restaurant for ages. It was my choice for my actual birthday day. I wanted it to be amazing. We arrived with much anticipation. First impression, nice setup. The staff were outstanding (and got a tip because of their outstanding-ness). It was busy when we arrived. A number of boisterous work groups clearly celebrating successes of the day (Side note: it’s so great to see people winning and then celebrating the wins). This unfortunately is kinda when the wheels started to fall off for me. We were seated in a corner of the restaurant where it felt like all the ambient noise, conversations, and music was directed to. The tiled floors and tiles walls ensured that sound levels were bad. I spent the most frustrating 90 minutes of my life trying to converse and utterly failing. The food was ok, but with the exception of the salmon trolley and the team member presenting it, there’s nothing I can really recall from the meal. No standouts. Sadly, I can’t recommend Onslow and won’t be returning. I hope Josh’s new restaurant is better.

A few days later and for something a little different, we went to the Trip Advisor-rated Sri Pinang on K’Rd. This is an old-school, utterly authentic, Malaysian restaurant. It’s not pretentious. It just delivers fabulous food. Coming off my Onslow experience, the meal at Sri Pinang was just perfect. Simple and appropriate ambience, conversation-capable seating and wonderful flavours that lingered for days. I definitely recommend this place.

Kingi rounded off the birthday restaurants. I’d heard mixed reviews of this Hotel Britomart-located destination. First impressions, I loved the fitout. The decor is really interesting and appealing. Again, the staff were welcoming and very interested. Kingi is a seafood restaurant and I loved everything about it and the food I tried. I will definitely be returning.

I’d also like to add Kol to this blog. This was visited after the birthday explorations, and it deserves a special mention. It’s Sid and Chand Sahrawat’s latest venture and it doesn’t disappoint. Balanced dishes, interesting flavours and fantastic presentation. The restaurant itself is tasteful and the staff are great. Interested and enthusiastic about their diners and their food. Loved it. Would love to return and try the rest of the menu.

I’ve deliberately not mentioned the dishes I tasted. I’ll leave those for you to discover and to experience.

And someone mentioned Restaurant Month is coming up… good times! Shall we, Anna?

^SJD

01.27.23
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Thoughts – Camping Trip #1 2023

If you know me, you’ll probably know that I like to take my kids (well, they’re now 20 and 17) camping for a week, every year, in January. It’s something that I started doing 12 years ago, and have really focussed on.

I like to take them to parts of New Zealand that they’ve not seen, nor are likely to explore.

This of course leads to much discussion about what they can handle, how much time they’re happy to spend in the car on the journey, what they’d like to do or what they’d look forward to doing in the chosen destination.

This year, we went to New Plymouth. The reason for this is that a significant part of my origin story is rooted in New Plymouth. My adopted parents were born and raised there. Their parents were established there, and I remember spending many many weeks, many holidays, in New Plymouth as my parents took us to their hometown from our home in Palmerston North.

We stayed at the Top 10 campsite in Fitzroy. It’s fairly basic, but was perfect for our needs. I quite liked the hedging around the sites – it created a sense of privacy.

In New Plymouth we checked out a few things that you have to. Sadly the Lights Festival had ended the day before our arrival so it wasn’t worth navigating Pukekura Park whilst electrical works were being removed. We circumnavigated Mt Taranaki. We took a detour to Parihaka (important learning opportunity). We met some of my colleagues ( yes, I can’t not work on holiday – and the opportunity to connect with people IRL can’t be missed). We explored the homes my parents grew up in. We explored the homes my grandparents lived in. I recounted stories – oral history. We visited my biological aunt as well, so kind of a dual journey!

On the drives and in the campsite, we explore music. I love how my kids have their favourites. We started exploring the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time. It is interesting to me that they’re looking for craft rather than popularity. Snarky Puppy and Animals for Leaders rather than bland top 10.

One of my absolutely favourite things to do is to drive random roads, take random turns, explore small rural New Zealand. Buy a toasted sandwich. Have a chat. I love getting to know the pulse of the people I come into contact with. I find really interesting things.

Cafe toilet in ōkato

Back in New Plymouth, we explored the Len Lye gallery – its always amazing. I suspect it may have been a bit outside the headspace of my two though.. Still, I enjoyed it!

My kids? I think they had a good time. I’m always optimistic that they’re interested in the next camping trip. Will there be a next time? I hope so.

They’re not particularly interested in being photographed. Here’s them and me…

So, camping this January is done. I’m ready to approach work properly – I’m centered. Time with my kids is way more important than anything else I do.

^sd

10.12.22
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Thoughts: Of Reconnection

This year, the Mental Health Foundations ‘Mental Health Awareness Week’ theme was all about Reconnection. Reconnect with the people and places that lift you up.

I work in a business that provides mental health support, so MHAW really is peak week in a year. Being directly involved, I now have had time to breathe and reflect on this theme.

Reconnection huh? This is something I can talk about…

I have learned that I am an ambivert. Where I lean towards extroversion generally, I also have strong introversion tendancies.

Since 2020 – yes, those Covid years – my introverted side has been in charge. I have had to adapt, to learn to draw refilling energy from sources other than people. I have done this with some success, but there has been a price paid. It has been taking me a long time to be able to get ‘out’, to interact with people the way I used to be able to, comfortably.

And honestly I’m still not there. Close, yes. But not quite.

On the plus side, I did successfully navigate Costco on opening weekend, and I did manage to navigate the Diwali crowds in Auckland last weekend, so I am definitely making progress.

Sorry, I got distracted thinking about 1.2kg of peanut M&M’s.

OK, back to Reconnection.

Yes, this was absolutely the right focus for MHAW. Our people have had to find their way back from enforced separation. Some are doing this easier than others so it is really important to stay mindful that the person you’re talking with may not have the energy to be fully engaged. Everyone has been impacted, and it shows in different ways.

One thing that has occurred to me as I reconnect with people, is that understanding and recognising the need for disconnection is also vitally important.

We all have people in our lives that live ‘rent-free’ in our heads. ‘Friends’ that really do not care about you as much as you care about them. I’ve observed that I no longer have the reserves to allow these energy-vampires a place in my life. In the current climate of rebuilding and recovery, I need to disconnect them. Sure, I may reconnect with them in the future, but for now the disconnection is required.

And for me, this is actually hard to do.

But the long-term life benefits will outweigh the loss.

Your thoughts?

^SD

12.31.21
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Thoughts: So Long 2021 and Happy New Year

I’ve had an interesting few days of reflection. Considering how I’m doing in life. That sort of stuff.

My previous ‘Happy New Year’ posts have basically been a bit angsty. Generally they have been an “it’s been a challenging year” vibe and a written process trying to find some good for the year completed and some sort of focus for the new year to come.

“It’s been a challenging year”. Such a cliché.

I did for a moment consider the idea that it would be nice to have a year that wasn’t challenging. But dear god, how tedious would that be?

We need challenge.

I think, for me anyway, where 2020 was a shit show, 2021 has been challenging, but in a transitional way – moving from ‘survival challenge’ to ‘growth challenge’.

It’s been a very good year for me on balance.

Started at a shockingly low point at work, finished on a high. A platform is in place and I’m really looking forward to doing some good stuff this new year.

I’ve been careful managing human connections – minimising my exposure to those ‘energy vampires’ in my wider circle, focusing on those that know me and grow me. Being open to new people has brought interesting and positive influences into my world. I definitely have needed to avoid stagnation and just ‘existing’.

I’m ending 2021 in much better mental shape than 12 months ago. Clearly I’ve developed some resilience, combined with allowing new people in to help. Also, it helps to work where I work. My colleagues are amazing.

One thing I’m able to do this break time is to actually have a decent break. 9 days down so far and I’m just starting to relax to a point where I can begin to recharge.

So, a couple more weeks of holiday will be rejuvenating. I’m also getting to spend a week camping with my teenagers in January. Precious time. I don’t know how many more camping trips I’ll have with them but I’ll take every opportunity to spend quality time with them.

Resolutions… hmmm – I’m not making resolutions this year. Sure, there are ‘nice to haves’ to have in the back of my mind, but I’m not going to resolve to achieve these. Apart from the KitchenAid mixer. I need to resolve to obtain a KitchenAid mixer. Onyx Black. That will make 2022 a success!

Anyway, it’s been a year hasn’t it? I wish you all the very best for 2022. Those who have lost much, I hope you get your mojo back. That you recover quickly and grow quickly.

See you soon!
^sd