Category Archives: General

01.01.16
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Thoughts: 2015

So, 2015 is done and dusted. I am not in a particularly celebratory or satisfied mood. I’m feeling more… contemplative.

It wasn’t quite what I expected or wanted. It followed a 2014 that presented a few challenges and I really was nervous about what was going to happen.

But I have survived. And I think I’m going to be starting 2016 in better shape than I was twelve months ago.

I am cautiously optimistic and focusing on the postitive. Well, at least I’m trying to.

2015 did see me improve on a Professional level. An improved work ethic, born out of necessity. I’ve strengthened some business relationships but I’ve also had to cut some ties. It’s frustrating to me that there are still unresolved issues that should have been sorted by now. 

I’ve learned patience. I’ve learned to not worry too much about things outside of my immediate control. I have embraced the philosophy that “It’ll work out. Eventually”.

On the Personal, I’m not so sure about how the year was. 

I’m not sure I spend enough time with my kids, and I’m very aware that as they get older, their availability and desire to spend time with me will change. I need to make the most of the time I have. It is helpful that they’ve embraced technology so there are always amusing texts and Facetime conversations. 

Despite not being able to network and mingle as much as I need to, I have met some interesting new people this year. I really do get energy from the exchange of ideas and interaction with others. I probably need to prioritise more of this in 2016.

I’ve lost friends this year. Not through their passing but through their words and deeds. People who decided it was ok to bully and abuse. I mention this as it was a huge disappointment to me at the time and it still lingers. I do hope they find their way ok.

Happily, I have also gained friends this year. I’m grateful to how these people have added to my journey in a very short time and I’m looking forward to spending more time with them.

I’ve seen friends go through some challenges in the year and get through with success and dignity intact. I’ve friends still getting there. They will.

I’m a believer in the idea that people come into your life for a reason. And sometimes, it’s just for a season. It’s something I’m conscious of when I meet new people. I’m extremely grateful to those who have supported me and stuck by me this year. 

I have noticed that 2015 did impact my joy. My emotional energy levels were depleted and I was concerned that I had started to lose my natural state of caring for others. 

In 2016 I’ll be more careful about keeping that particular tank full. It’s critically important as without it, I’m not entirely pleasant – more indifferent I suppose – and that is not who I am.

I have discovered the value of solitude. Being able to and being comfortable spending time in my own company. To read. To write. To listen to, and play music. To play games. To cook and create. If I don’t do these things, I stumble.

(As an aside, I’m determined to learn to craft my own sausages this year. I know. Weird but rewarding).

What will 2016 bring? Who knows? All I can do is accept that there are things I can’t change and expect and anticipate the best of everything else.

I hope you all have a great year ahead.

12.18.15
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Thoughts: Star Wars – The Force Awakens (No Spoilers!)

Star_Wars_The_Force_AwakensYesterday was Opening Day for the seventh film in the Star Wars saga, and I was fortunate to be able to take my 13 year old son to see it. The Lux style (Hoyt’s version of Gold Class). I wanted to create a memory for him that lasts long.

Let me explain.

I saw the original Star Wars in the Regent Theatre in Palmerston North when it was released. I’m not entirely proud of how I got to see it, but I got to see it.

Oh OK. Here’s the story. If you insist.

I really really really wanted to see it but my parents were quite frugal (Dad was a teacher, Mum was a relief teacher (both at PNBHS) and they were raising four kids) so my going to see it was out of the question according to them. ANYWAY, I learned that my sister had been invited to a friends 7th birthday party – and the horde of girls was going to see Star Wars!!! Girls??? Star Wars??? And NOT me??? I rather suspect I threw my toys. Just a little bit. Long story short, I got to see Star Wars. And that fact transcended the fact I was at a 7 yr old girls birthday party.

I remember it vividly. I remember the Tangy Fruits in plastic pottles. I remember walking out of the theatre on its red carpet feeling like I was walking on air. And the memory of seeing the banner stretched across the hallway with ‘May The Force Be With You’ is seared in my mind.

So yesterday was a re-living. Another generation experiencing Star Wars on release in the cinema!

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We were so excited.

I picked my son up a couple of hours before screening time thinking we’d wander the shops a bit, look for Christmas gifts, yarn, fill in time. Well – THAT idea went out the window pretty quick. Neither of us could concentrate. We were twitchy, fidgety and restless all at the same time.

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My son has been nervous about this movie since it was announced. Years ago. He’s been “I hope Abrams doesn’t stuff it up” since he was 11. (He didn’t actually know who JJ Abrams was at the time). He loves these movies so much and has become the go-to kid at school on all things Star Wars. I’m not sure I should be proud, but at least he gets out in the sun and plays some sports…

Finally, the time came. We were escorted to our seats.

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The coke and popcorn and wine arrived, the 3D glasses were put on, the lights went down and then…

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We were not disappointed. A stupid, silly, happy grin has been on both our faces for the last 24 hours. Do go see this movie. It’s terrific!

 

 

11.21.15
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Thoughts: Public Pools

It has clearly become the ‘Summer’ season and my kids (and I’m sure those of pretty much every parent alive) have decided that there is a compulsive need for me to take them swimming every weekend they’re with me.

My closest pool is Pt Erin in Herne Bay, but for some reason it’s not opened yet. So Mt Albert Aquatic Centre has been the best option.

If you’ve never been there, it’s quite a cool place. Multiple pools, sprays, a wave generator, and a decent water slide.

My kids LOVE IT and charge in all guns a-blazin’, and today I reluctantly decided to join them. I’m not big on swimming but more importantly to me, getting amongst a seething mass of humanity in a bowl filled with a liquid of dubious composition really isn’t my thing.

The children pressed me to pony up the cash to hire tubes for them to play with for an hour. Naturally, they ran out of things to do with said tubes after about 25 minutes and wanted me to hold on to them for them. Yeah… nah.

The people-watching dynamic is always interesting. But you’re not allowed to watch too closely as that may be construed as slightly creepy. It’s interesting listening too – the screeches of happy from kids, the cries of torment from kids, the words of encouragement from parents “suck it up, it’s only a bit of water” etc. etc.

It’s when clients of yours bob past that you realise you’re really not looking your best and suck in your stomach. Talking shop and generally being wary of the amount of eye contact your’re engaging in is a tricky balance. You don’t usually have business meetings with little clothing on.

I also found it disconcerting when my kids deserted me to go down the waterslide. There usually is a bit of a wait so I was left there floating in the main pool having to watch them. So… Mid-40’s male, bobbing, alone, surrounded by hordes of children, trying to act nonchalant… Uh oh…

Happily they swum themselves out and I was released from my overthinking.

And once dried and dressed and walking out of the place, I released my stomach muscles. I am after all, just a little bit vain.

God I hate Public Pools.

11.20.15
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Thoughts: My iPhone died

So, I woke up this morning to a dead iPhone. Truly dead. Not just flat battery dead. It’s been a long time coming, but the last week I knew it was on its way out. 

I managed to stay calm and collected. I mean, how bad could it be? It’s just a phone, right? 

So, I trotted down to my local Vodafone to get a replacement underway (I do recommend PhoneInsure if you don’t already have it). They dutifully and quickly did their paperwork and a replacement is underway.

But…

  
They gave me this as a loaner. Now, of course I’m grateful for it as it means I have some semblance of being ‘on the grid’, but OMG, how dependent have I become on modern technology.

This Nokia is a freaking nightmare!

I have no contacts loaded. I don’t know who is calling me or the numbers of anybody!!!

I have no idea how to text anybody. The interface is nonsensical. And completely unusable.

I don’t know how much money I have in my accounts. Who has paid me? Who hasn’t. How do I transfer funds when needed? I can’t!!!!

I don’t know where I need to be or who I need to see.

I don’t know what I need to purchase at the supermarket.

I can’t check in to places. My mayoralty’s are at risk!

I can’t claim my purchase receipts at Farro Fresh.

And so many more innovations that have become critically important to my life and business. All gone.
These could be the longest ten-fourteen days of my life.

*breathe breathe breathe calm breathe*

11.05.15
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Thoughts: Birthday Gift Panic Guide for Men

Guys, sometimes you have absolutely no idea what to give that special female someone. This could be for a variety of reasons of course, whether it’s financial, whether they haven’t given you any indication of things desired, or possibly you just go blank when you sit back in your chair to consider your gifting options.

I have a birthday coming up that I need to buy for.  I’ve been through some thought processes, and come up with a few suggestions, and in the interest of supporting my fellow men, I’m sharing here to help you make your significant other’s day just that little bit more special.

As you know, I like cooking. I’ve spent time and money researching and acquiring pots and kitchen implements that do the job well. She may not have such good pots and kitchen implements, and this will never do if you need to cook at her place.

Suggestion 1:

Decent measuring cups.

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Suggestion 2:

Decent measuring spoons.

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Suggestion 3:

Decent pots and pans

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Kitchen stuff really is the gift that keeps on giving. She will be so happy she’ll want to cook for you every night using her new gear!

 

Right on to other ideas. Is her place clean and tidy? Does it need a spruce up?

 

Suggestion 4:

A quality vacuum cleaner. Godfrey’s usually has these on sale.

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Look at her. What about her clothes? Are they a bit crumpled?

Suggestion 5:

A new ironing board will rock her world and spruce her up a bit for when you take her out to the local McDonald’s drive-thru on your next date!

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Note that it is important to get one with a cover that is her favourite colour. If you happen to know it. Otherwise just get one in pink with a floral design. It’s a winner every time.

 

Now here’s a true story: I remember once going through Farmers with my then girlfriend. We were in that ‘getting to know each other’ phase so I was paying clinical attention to her every word. We went past the Pond’s counter and she said “I need some more face-cleaner”. Absolute GOLD!!! Her birthday was coming up, so I went back sneakily and bought her some. Spent quite a bit actually. At least $20.

I gave it to her with a nice card.

She was NOT impressed. I didn’t know quite what to make of this. She told me she wanted some. I got her some. It was the best gift I could think of at the time.

Women are strange.

Right, where was I? Oh yes, ideas.

Does she have a garden? Is it a bit overgrown? It may be that she just doesn’t have the right tools which makes maintaining just a little bit hard.

Suggestion 6:

A garden fork and spade. Be classy. Get a matched pair. These bad boys are going to get a lot of use, let me tell you!

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My aged Dad likes to garden. He likes to get fertiliser on his birthday. My aged Mother always approves, so this one is totally thinking outside the box…

Suggestion 7:

Sheep Pellets! Awesome.

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Actually, that leads to another true story: A relative moved to a lifestyle block in the country just out of Auckland. He bought a flock of sheep, and couldn’t understand why they were not interested in eating sheep pellets for food.

Sigh.

The benefit of the last couple of suggestions is that you can get them from Bunnings or Mitre 10. And buy yourself a new power tool or table saw. You never know when you might need one eh?

Anyway, I’d best get out to the Mall and get gifting for tomorrow. I hope this post helps you all.

SD

 

11.03.15
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Thoughts: Cooking

  

Sometimes you find a cookbook that inspires. I have to say, I’m a little addicted to printed cookbooks despite having accounts with Jamie Oliver and with Big Oven (both digital platforms are highly recommended) there is something special about leafing through pages of recipes and food photos.

One of my recent obsessions has been to dive into Chinese cuisine. This stems from a life-changing journey four years ago where I visited China on a 12 day tour. 

I have learned to experience destinations through their culture and food. In China I loved walking down the alleys watching locals cook street food, as well as visiting their fine-dining restaurants. 

Anyway, this book is awesome. I obtained it because I’d started to obsess about how to make dumplings. It adds so much more.

Tonight’s effort is Taiwanese Beef Rice. The liquid is basically a stock of ginger, garlic, onion, carrot, soy, oyster sauce, rice wine, caster sugar, vinegar, star anise, five spice and beef stock. 
  
If you guys could smell this… Wow!! 

11.03.15
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Thoughts: Lars von Trier

Lars-Vontrier

A couple of years ago I saw ‘Antichrist’ with a friend. I’d not encountered the work of Lars von Trier before, and I really was not prepared for what I was watching.  The synopsis for the movie is this: “A grieving couple retreat to their cabin in the woods, hoping to repair their broken hearts and troubled marriage. But nature takes its course and things go from bad to worse.”

Nature takes its course? What the hell kind of nature does this guy live in?

Over recent months I made the effort to watch the others in his Depression Trilogy. ‘Melancholia’ and ‘Nymphomania I and II’.

Oh my god. This guy has a seriously bleak world view. Clever movies. Well-written movies. Well-directed and crafted movies. But incredibly abrasive and shocking.

I’m still processing how they made me feel. What things I should confront as a result.

I think I need to go back to banter and explosions for a while.

11.02.15
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Thoughts: Dreams

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Sometimes in that pre-dawn time, especially after a somewhat restless sleep, I have the weirdest dreams.

Today’s effort was quite odd.

I was in a village – narrow, cobbled streets with laneways. The sunlight was playing on the brick walls of the tall houses and building and it looked amazing. However, I was too tired to appreciate it and was simply wanting to get home to rest.

I knew the way I should walk but for some reason I kept getting turned around. Road signs kept changing. The position of the sun kept changing. The elevation of the paths kept changing. People kept blocking my route so I had to continually find other roads to travel down.

I went down an alley and a person moved a cart in front of me so I couldn’t pass. They asked for my help re-potting some plants (WTF?). Even though I needed to be on my way, I stopped to help. I always do.

When I went to wash my hands, the soap I used wasn’t soap. It was a glue of some description and I just could not get it off my hands. Everything was sticking and slowing me down.

The frustration was just huge and enveloping and increasing. Like a persistent fog that clouds everything.

And just as it all nearly got too much, I woke.

The dream was so clear and I have such good recall of it. What the heck was that all about?

What do you think?

11.01.15
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Thoughts: Scary Movies

Halloween night saw me at the girl’s place cooking dinner (FYI: tandoori-style BBQ chicken – and it was amazing) and wondering what we should do. It’s always a bit tricky finding a balance between fun and having to go to bed early due to a certain compulsory 4:45am rise.

I figured we should at least watch something Halloween-y and I saw that ‘Paranorman’ was on. I’m still very much in parent-mode it appears (hence the selection) and as my kids weren’t around, I got bored with it pretty quickly.

Then I had a genius idea. Let’s watch something actually scary!


Netflix on, and The Conjuring selected!

I enjoyed the movie. I didn’t find it remotely scary. Just clever.

But watching this movie introduced another concept. The girl was actually very uncomfortable with (and somewhat scared) by this movie. And from our conversation apparently most, if not all, movies of this genre.

Which got me thinking.

Who gets scared by Horrors? Is it a gender spread? Females more than males or is it pretty equal? Is it an age thing?

And what is it that is scary? Is it graphic violence? Is it spiritual suspense? Is it the audio? (Cue: scratching fingernails down a blackboard). Is it being able to imagine that this could happen and it could happen to you?



There are only two movies that I can recall playing with my mind. Event Horizon (I couldn’t sleep for days) and The Stepfather (just a very dark tale). But these are more thrillers?

And then I’m curious about the idea that people who are scared by these movies, seem to like being scared, and go back for more. Why?

I’m keen to hear your stories and thoughts. Go on, share with the class.

10.18.15
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Thoughts: Rugby World Cup and Miss 3

  This morning we settled in to watch the All Blacks play France. One of the family members brought their 3 year old daughter over to join in the fun.

Her being three, of course, meant there was always going to be an alternate commentary.

  10 10 minutes in, she looked up at the screen, taking her eyes briefly from her Frozen coloring-in book and brand new pens: “Who are the silly boys”?

Dad: “Rugby players”.

“Elsa has blue eyes and a gold crown”.

A few minutes later, on observing the players contesting for the ball on the ground: “What are they doing”?

This question required a carefully considered response from her Dad and me: “They’re having a cuddle. And a rest. When the ball comes out, they’ll get up and start running again”.

“What is that man doing”? (Seeing the referee). “That man is like a Teacher, with 30 children in his classroom. He tells them what to do.”

At 36m: “That was a silly game, is it finished”?

Before we could answer, we were transported back to Frozen. “Who do you like: Elsa, Anna, Kristof, Sven or Olaf?” (Hans apparently wasn’t an option). 

I chose Elsa. “no, it sbould be Kristof. Girls like girls. Boys like boys”.

The match progresses. Savea scores through several tacklers. The adults are re-enacting Keith Quinn’s Lomu climactic commentary. Miss 3: “You’re so sil”.

When the French 8 Louis Picamoles was sent off for fisting Richie, Miss 3 is very upset. “He’s not allowed to play? For 10 minutes? When can he come back”? The concept of isolation and punishment was nearly more than she could bear.

A little later, Carter converts. “Good kick old man, good kick old man”!!!

Back to the sin bin (also known as the naughty step). “Is he allowed to play again yet? How much longer”? This is clearly weighing heavily on her mind.

One breath later: “Simon, you can colour in Anna”. (And we are back with Frozen). 

The stream of consciousness is highly amusing.

Another try scored. “It’s amazing and astonishing to just drop the ball”. This was followed with an indepth explanation by Dad about how all the players had a single purpose, to place the white ball over the line. “It’s called a Try”. She didn’t care. Anna has dark blue eyes. Apparently there is no discussion to be entered into.

The full-time whistle blows. The teams shake hands and hug in victory and loss, reveling in the camaderie that only rugby players know: Miss 3: “They’re having cuddles for reals”.

They sure were.

They ghosts of the past have been well and truly exorcised.