Category Archives: Family

Posts about my family

10.24.15
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Thoughts: Armageddon 2015

I had the opportunity to take my kids to Armageddon at the ASB Showgrounds today.

I’d been before with my son, but never with my daughter. She wanted to come along and see what it was all about. Of course, Master 13 was a bit put out as Armaggedon was a Dad-Son thing, but I managed to get him past that concept.

I was mostly concerned how Miss nearly 10 would cope with the crushing crowds and costumes. It’s hard to find your way around when your view is mostly bottom-height.

For me and Master 13, the Sony PlayStation booth was the primary destination. We were very keen to see the new Star Wars Battlefront game. Master 13 queued for 30 mins for a hands-on experience. Apparently it was totally worth the wait. And apparently I have to buy a PS4 now. 

  
  
If you’ve never been to Armaggedon, one thing it is, is that it’s highly entertaining. There are so many people that make the effort to dress up, and in quite sophisticated costumes.

Anime, Cosplay, Star Trek and Star Wars. DC and Marvel. Modern warfare and Steampunk. All collected in one place. It’s absolutely brilliant. After much observation and consideration, I think my  favorite genre is Steampunk. Those guys looked fantastic.

  
You can purchase pretty much anything in comics, shirts, costumes and masks. Art, posters and books. Games, toys, DVDs and more. 

  
I love that it validates games such as Magic:The Gathering. Of course I had to suppress the irrational desire to yell ‘Nerds’ at the top of my voice. Mainly because it would be acknowledging that fundamentally I am actually a bit of a nerd. Life rule: Never Grow Up.

  
My daughter coped with the crowds really well. In fact she’s decided that next year she wants to go in costume. My son decided that I should go as a somewhat short, plump Warlock from Destiny. So much respect for me, huh?

I can totally recommend Armageddon as a destination to amuse your kids for an afternoon. Just keep an eye on them as there are a lot of people swirling around in random patterns. At 3pm there was an announcement of a lost child, missing since 10:30am. Parents can be distracted.

10.24.15
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Thoughts: 13 Yr Old Son and a Random Act Of Kindness

So yesterday, as I collected my kids, my 13 yr old son told me he had to do a blogpost for school. Which had a deadline. Midday today.

And the topic of his post? He had to do a Random Act Of Kindness and write about the experience.

One word: panic.

He had NO idea what he could do. I suggested that we head to the supermarket so he could help a ‘little old lady’ with her shopping. The idea terrified him.

I let him think about it overnight.

This morning he informed me that he had sorted it. Suspicious, I asked him what he’d done?

“I wrote ‘have a good day’ on a piece of paper and put it in one of your neighbours letter box.”

Seriously. So lame.

I have much work to do.

10.18.15
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Thoughts: Rugby World Cup and Miss 3

  This morning we settled in to watch the All Blacks play France. One of the family members brought their 3 year old daughter over to join in the fun.

Her being three, of course, meant there was always going to be an alternate commentary.

  10 10 minutes in, she looked up at the screen, taking her eyes briefly from her Frozen coloring-in book and brand new pens: “Who are the silly boys”?

Dad: “Rugby players”.

“Elsa has blue eyes and a gold crown”.

A few minutes later, on observing the players contesting for the ball on the ground: “What are they doing”?

This question required a carefully considered response from her Dad and me: “They’re having a cuddle. And a rest. When the ball comes out, they’ll get up and start running again”.

“What is that man doing”? (Seeing the referee). “That man is like a Teacher, with 30 children in his classroom. He tells them what to do.”

At 36m: “That was a silly game, is it finished”?

Before we could answer, we were transported back to Frozen. “Who do you like: Elsa, Anna, Kristof, Sven or Olaf?” (Hans apparently wasn’t an option). 

I chose Elsa. “no, it sbould be Kristof. Girls like girls. Boys like boys”.

The match progresses. Savea scores through several tacklers. The adults are re-enacting Keith Quinn’s Lomu climactic commentary. Miss 3: “You’re so sil”.

When the French 8 Louis Picamoles was sent off for fisting Richie, Miss 3 is very upset. “He’s not allowed to play? For 10 minutes? When can he come back”? The concept of isolation and punishment was nearly more than she could bear.

A little later, Carter converts. “Good kick old man, good kick old man”!!!

Back to the sin bin (also known as the naughty step). “Is he allowed to play again yet? How much longer”? This is clearly weighing heavily on her mind.

One breath later: “Simon, you can colour in Anna”. (And we are back with Frozen). 

The stream of consciousness is highly amusing.

Another try scored. “It’s amazing and astonishing to just drop the ball”. This was followed with an indepth explanation by Dad about how all the players had a single purpose, to place the white ball over the line. “It’s called a Try”. She didn’t care. Anna has dark blue eyes. Apparently there is no discussion to be entered into.

The full-time whistle blows. The teams shake hands and hug in victory and loss, reveling in the camaderie that only rugby players know: Miss 3: “They’re having cuddles for reals”.

They sure were.

They ghosts of the past have been well and truly exorcised. 

09.12.15
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Thoughts: More Family Issues

As some of you are aware, I really do have a few issues with my NZ family. 

I spend time with my aged parents regularly, and I note that they are the glue that keeps me connected with my siblings because I have reached the point where I don’t really care. 

Every now and then I think to myself that perhaps I should be the bigger person but then I’m reminded that when I was struggling they simply weren’t there for me.

I have felt incredibly isolated and as such have made a bit more effort with connection to my biological family.

Here’s a story. My older sister left a birthday gift for me with my parents (who forgot where it was). My birthday was June, it’s now September.

Now, I don’t want to be too scathing but here it is:

  
Yes, that is a book from my sister trying to save my soul. 

They included this too:

  

Yes, that is a Thai Airways business class pack that they were given on their last trip.

Clearly they thought that ‘Simon would like this on his journey to Hell’.

I’m a bit grumpy.

09.06.15
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Thoughts: Father’s Day 2015

And another Father’s Day is done and dusted.

I’m always a bit leery of this annual day of recognition. The build-up usually annoys me – I hate the gratuitous advertising ahead of the day as I think it detracts somewhat from the importance of the Day itself.

I use this day as a day of reflection and consideration. It’s been over six years now since my marriage ended, and I have been focussed that the decisions of my past don’t impact on the relationship I have with my kids.

And you know what? I think I’m doing OK.

My kids actually want to spend time with me. It’s not grudginly enforced. They want to create cards for me. They love joking with me.

Today’s efforts included cards: “Happy Farters Day”… or referencing Destiny – mu current gaming obsession. They gave me Star Wars diescast models. Awesome!


I picked them up and we went hunting for food. I like avoiding the regular places such as McDonalds or mall foodcourts, and I also like supporting locals. We parked at Ponsonby Central, and ended up at the Street Food Collective in Lot 3 (off Ponsonby Road, behind the Golden Dawn. Miss Moonshines is there as well). Many food options and the kids decided on tacos from The Lucky Taco.

Of course, I made them order, pay, and collect. The tacos were great (I do recommend them if it helps). Then I got the kids to order our hot drinks. I have realised that they’re a little under-experienced with regards to commercial transacting! And yes, I’m always up for teching them stuff.

Further fun was had down at Wynyard Quarter – great icecream and lots of things to do.


All up a great day. Summed up by something Master 12 wrote in his card to me: “You must be doing something right”. I think I am.

AidanFD2015 CaitlinFD2015

08.29.15
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Thoughts: Soccer Dad

  
Being the parent of a child who loves soccer (football for the purists) is hard.

In fact, it can be quite traumatic.

As another season draws to a close, I feel reflective. My son’s team really isn’t very good. 

It’s his seventh year of playing. The first few years were challenging as there weren’t any coaches available so well-meaning parents took the role. And the kids, including my son, didn’t really learn anything about the game. Over the seasons the better players were selected for better teams leaving the average. Other players left for other clubs or school teams, so cohesion and continuity hasn’t been possible. 

Happily though, these boys are no longer chasing the ball as a bunch. Today, despite a heavy loss, saw them play as a team. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

This year another parent stood up to coach, and all credit to him as he is passionate. He’s given up his time to have two practice sessions each week.

The only problem is that he is South African of Indian descent. And NO ONE understands a word he says when he’s agitated. It’s actually pretty funny.

Watching a game goes like this:

The boys aren’t getting forward quick enough… 

“Flurgle splutter blug something something DEEPER!!”

The Defenders are too far up and the opposition get through…

“Oh Jesus F**king Christ” – apparently this needs no translation.

A perfect attacking cross occurs and there are no Forwards to pick it up…

“Splutter mumble yell something something HENRY!!!!”

There is only one game left in the season. We do have one win under our belts. We’ve learned to score goals in the last few weeks. Just a bit late.

My boy has improved. He enjoys playing. I’m happy I don’t have to provide counseling after their losses any more. 

And he’s outside running around.

No downside really.

08.26.15
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Thoughts: Finding My Passion

I’ve been feeling a little off-balance in recent months and I’m trying to put my finger on what is causing this.

  
I think I have reached a turning point. A fork in the road. They don’t come along all that often, so to recognise one when you see it is fairly important.

I’m examining most (if not all) aspects of my life. 

Some things are set in stone: my kids, what I do with them, how they see me and my existence. It’s a tricky balance as I’m very careful not to disrupt their worldview at this point in time. It is something that I determined to do six years ago, and I’m not about to change.

Being immovable brings issues.

It means I can’t consider, until they’re older, major changes. For example, moving to another town, another country. Not being around and present for them. 

It means that my monthly expenses are higher than they could be. I live alone because I want them to feel that they come ‘home’ when they stay with me. I don’t want them to ever feel like they’re visitors.

It means that other people’s expectations and hopes aren’t met.

I do feel I’ve found balance in work, having made necessary changes a couple of months ago which removed stress and gained a little more flexibility, and therefore time to ponder life.

I’m still trying to determine what it is I’m passionate about. What is it that would energise me, that appears front-and-centre when I remove the dross and distractions of day-to-day? I have many hobbies that I could immerse myself in, but they’re not passions. 

I’ve learned that I’m happiest when I’m engaging with people. Meeting them, hearing their life stories. Listening to their journeys. I actually love people (Caveat: not the dicks. Please don’t be a dick). I don’t like casual shallow conversations. I love to get beneath the surface. To find out who they really are. 

The last couple of years I’ve not been that free to meet and greet but these last couple of months have seen me being able to get back into this and it’s been great. 

This is a passion I need to explore. 

There is another side to me which commands that I have ‘me’ time. Isolation. Being at home, by myself, doing ‘stuff’. If I don’t get this isolation, I don’t recharge. And I get unhappy. Understanding this is key to the above.
  
Balance.

I hate getting trapped into a routine, getting stuck in a rut. Sometimes they’re necessary I guess, but it is important that they’re finite. I sense that some of my routines are coming to a close (yay).

Once I’ve worked out what my passion is, I’ll need to work out how to make it happen. What would the cost be (not just financial of course). That could be the tough scary and challenging bit. 

I’m up for it.

What about you guys? Are you living your dreams? Do you know what your passion is? How’d you find it and make it work? 

07.17.15
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Thoughts: Quality Time with the Kids

I’ve enjoyed spending more time than usual with my kids these holidays. It’s fun connecting with them and seeing them grow.

Visits to MOTAT and the Auckland Museum were rewarding. It’s cool to see my daughter dive into the experiments and technology that MOTAT has on display and promotes with their school programmes.

  

It was endearing seeing both of them dive into the Online Cenotaph at the Museum to locate their great-grandfathers name in the role of honour. And to be able to explain ‘war’ and ‘sacrifice’ and the impact on families and New Zealand.
This afternoon has been pretty cool too. Master 12 is off testing a game that is currently in closed-beta development (huge opportunity for him to learn about the ins and outs of a studio) so Miss 9 and I shot off to the Pub. Just me and her.

  

This has been great for a number reasons. My kids have been told/conditioned that pubs are bad and full of bad drunk people. I’ve been working to dispel this of course. And the most important reason is that she wanted to talk. And talk. And talk. She made me put my devices down so she could talk to me. About everything. Such an incredibly awesome time. School, friends, subjects. She showed me her writing. Her forays into coding (she does technology at her school). Her ice-skating. Her gymnastics. Talking about her achievements and the next things to work on.
This will set up this weekend nicely.

06.07.15
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Thoughts: Another Birthday

And the birthday weekend draws to a close.
‘Achieving’ 46 hasn’t felt good. I usually live by a mantra whereby age is but a number, but this one aches a bit.
Still, it was celebrated well. I took Friday afternoon off and spent it doing things I like. Catching up with old friends, playing Destiny in my underwear. The usual ya know?
The lovely KT picked me up and we went hunting for wine in Herne Bay. Have to say, the Elbow Room scene at 5pm on a Friday is horrific. Great staff, but the clientele are pretty much ‘men contemplating their ageing’. It wasn’t ideal. But the free peanuts made up for it.
A gentle wander past Goodness (and catching up with my pal Ange) and then on to Dida’s. A much more lively crowd, but too much crowd.
Dinner was at Siostra in West Lynn. I’ve wanted to eat there for a while and it felt good supporting my local. I have to say, the food was outstanding. The service was outstanding. Such a great unpretentious vibe. I’ll definitely return. And I have no hesitation in recommending them.
A quick wine at Frieda’s before heading home. Again, a backdrop of ageing men deep in their cups was a little raw.
I hate the idea I’m growing old. I can’t avoid it, so one needs to make sure one makes the most of life don’t you think?

S.

02.24.15
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Thoughts: New Plymouth and Childhood Memories

I’ve had the opportunity to visit New Plymouth on business and its occurred to me that I haven’t been here for a very long time. Over 20 years if memory serves.

Whilst I grew up in Palmerston North, both my parents were born and raised here. I remember being bundled into the Kingswood every available holiday (it seemed) and driving up with the family. 

Mum grew up on a dairy farm which was used as a military installation during WWII. It’s been sold off over the decades and is now home to some of the newest houses in the region. The Old Communications Bunker remains. Good construction is hard to remove, apparently. 



Between all my meetings I managed to do drive-bys of the places I have recollections of:

Mums parents house in Gilbert St.



Dads house in Govett Ave.



There was little or no change to Gilbert St, but Govett is unrecognisable. Apart from the driveway and the building positioning. A conifer I remember spending hours playing in is now a stump. I’m a bit miffed.



Pukekura Park is still beautiful.



The thing that strikes me the most is how much smaller everything is in reality. Through a child’s eyes I recall much larger homes, longer driveways, bigger sandhills and parks.

I also have little recollection of the city itself. Except for one memory where at the age of 8 I was captured by a large guard and accused of shoplifting. (I hadn’t been, and I was let go by the manager after proving my case). Wow, that one came back strong. Surprising.

I wonder if my parents really only spent time with the parents, aunts and uncles in their homes rather than drag us around in the hope of entertaining us. Interesting.

The Baptist Church where my grandfather died and was sent off, as well as my other grandparents is unchanged. I spent a lot of time there.

The model train club. Still there. Still fond memories.



It’s been great coming here. Good for work and good for the soul. There is a sense of belonging and history. But no, I’m quite sure I couldn’t live here.